You Are the Gift!

"Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a longing fulfilled is a tree of life." - Proverbs 13:12.

My hands are still shaking. I was in the middle of cooking dinner when the postal worker rang the doorbell - and handed me a package wrapped in brown paper.

I have experienced joy in my life, excitement and surprises, but after being in Japan for six months, few things rival the thrill of a postmarked package with my name on it.

Do I savor the moment or rip open the box?

I choose to RIP.

My hands are shaking so much I can hardly hold the scissors to cut the tape. Inside, wrapped in newspaper, are treasures from the United States: a bottle of vanilla extract, taco seasoning packets, a box of heavenly smelling tea, and two letters - one written by nine-year-old Lily Kubota who wants to be a missionary to Japan.

I am shouting now, jumping up and down, dancing in circles while I smell breath after breath of that beautifully fragrant tea. A package! A package!

And the most wonderful part is that YOU SENT IT!! You remembered me! I am moved almost tears as I think of the little hands that wrote the letter, the person who wrapped everything in newspaper and weighed it at the post office.

Perhaps one of my greatest blessings of being in Japan is seeing your precious love in action!

I think of so many people who shower me with their kindness: my dear friend Mike Rew who clips out and mails newspaper comics every two weeks, Vicki DeLand who is keeping my cat, Dan and Mary Lou Kline who call me and pray over the phone as I hang on their every word.

You have sent me graduation announcements (Ben and ReNee), wedding invitations, programs and pictures (too many to list!) and emailed me photos of new babies and new husbands. You have mailed me cheese and Christmas cards.

You have emailed me news from "back home," made me laugh, sent me Bible verses for encouragement, even asked my opinion even from miles away. Never in my life have those four little words "I'm praying for you" meant so much!

And then there are those of you who don't have time to email but you PRAY for me - and the Lord knows it. He hears. He answers. And I am blessed.

How can I thank you enough for your love poured out on me when I could never deserve it? What a beautiful picture of grace -and mercy - that paints a living picture for me of our Lord!

Thank you, thank you, thank you!!!

I can hardly sit down to eat my dinner (made with Indian spices given by Ani Verghese) after opening the box. I can't wait to look at it all again, and a third time, and a fourth time, and read the letters, hang them up in my room...

You, my friends, my family, those close to my heart... God has given me many gifts here in Japan, but you are at the top of the list!


* * * * *


"I have come from the darkness to the light of the Lord;
I have come from the night to the day.
He has guided my footsteps in the truth of His Word;
By His love He has shown me the way.

In the light of His presence all temptation depart,
And the shadows of doubt are cast aside.
With the radiance of sunshine He has entered my heart,
Where His Spirit of love abides.

I have come from the darkness to the light,
To the light of redemption from sin.
O my soul will rejoice in His might,
For my Savior dwells within."

-Marian Wood Chaplin, Copyright 1964 by Broadman press.

Sapporo is often dark. Even as I write those thick, marbled clouds I love so much are stretched across the western horizon, tinged with grey and violet. The weather is fickle here - sunshine for a moment, and then snow blowing the next. I have learned two things in Sapporo: Always carry and umbrella, and always, always be prepared.

When I packed up my belongings in Richmond, I tried to be prepared, too. I packed wool sweaters, theology books and an entire pound of ground red pepper. But one thing I couldn't prepare for was the darkness and despair that lies as thick in Sapporo as the layers of fallen snow.

Darkness... Because millions of Japanese do not know the Savior.

A bizarre thing happened as I unpacked my life in Japan. I started with high hopes, praying daily for Sapporo and my apartment neighbors, too excited to sleep and certain that big things would happen any minute. I carried Japanese Bibles in my bag at all times and gave them to taxi drivers, interested teenagers, anyone I spoke to.

Now, six months later, I smile as I remember my passion. Part of my smile is at my newness and excitement, but part of it is wistful... wishing, if the truth were known, that I could have it back again - even for a day.

"Something happens to people here," I remember a foreign Sapporo friend saying over the phone. "After a while the darkness is so heavy you feel like you can't even pray."

No wonder my prayers have become like bread crusts, thin and dry. I stopped carrying Japanese Bibles months ago. Even the university clubs I loved so much are closed until April, leaving me with one-on-one English classes and quiet, cloudy, winter mornings to ponder my fate. On these moments my mind slips back to sunny Mexico and Brazil, seeing people accept Christ left and right, and I wonder...

It was on such a morning that Dan Kline, a dear Richmond friend, called me with some words of encouragement and the song listed above. The words exploded in my head like fireworks: "In the light of His presence all temptation depart/ And the shadows of doubt are cast aside. With the radiance of sunshine He has entered my heart/ Where His Spirit of love abides."

"Jesus," Dan was saying. "The answer is Jesus."

If anyone had reason to despair, it was Jesus. Not only did He leave behind the ultimate joy - the Father's presence, but He was "despised and rejected by men, and familiar with suffering. Like one from whom men hide their faces he was despised, and we esteemed Him not" (Isaiah 50:3).

Jesus was not what you would call, from human eyes, a ministry success. He was misunderstood, taken out of context, and even His own family did not believe Him. His closest friends repeatedly disappointed and deserted Him. He died like a common thief with His own followers not understanding His death or believing His resurrection.

Talk about darkness!

But what a revelation to see that God is not put out by darkness: "If I say, 'Surely the darkness will hid me and the light become night around me,' EVEN THE DARKNESS WILL NOT BE DARK TO YOU, the night will shine like the day, for darkness is as light to You" (Psalm 139:11-12).

No wonder the same Christ who dwells in us calls Himself the "Light of the World" - for light is the only thing that can dispel darkness.

And no matter how dark the darkness, a little light changes it all. But all the darkness in the universe cannot snuff out light.

As I opened my Bible to Matthew by lamplight, I was transfixed by Christ - a coming announced by angels and a desert evangelist, a life started by running from kings and learning carpentry.

The result?

Two thousand years later His name is still proclaimed.

With every beat of my heart, His light is here - here in dark Sapporo, whether I feel it or not. He gives me the courage to get up one more morning, the grace to bend to new assignments and accept disappointments, and the desperate desire to get on my knees and ask for help.

If Christ is in you, you have the Light!

His way is not easy. The narrow road demands difficult choices, giving up our own dreams, and letting go of what we hold dear.

But I would rather live a thousand lives of agony than to be without His light for a second.

"Is being a missionary here worth it?" I remember asking an American university teacher, a Christian, here in Sapporo.

"If even one person comes to the Lord, it's worth it," he said. "But what if no one comes to the Lord?"

We were both silent.

"I still think it is," he replied slowly. "Because the message is still worth proclaiming."

And what a message!

Stay true - His light WILL shine through!