Christmas!

Heidi and I spent the night at the Cooksey's house on Christmas Eve, and we woke up (early!) to open presents with four of the five children. Kathy fed us WELL throughout the day... There were home-baked cookies, chips and French onion dip, and all the goodies not normally found in Japan, plus a wonderful Christmas dinner.

My Christmas gift of green elephant slippers (perfect for the cold floor!) from Cornelia.


Josh (age 4) in a monkey suit, running around the living room.


Mattie (age 2), who loved ripping the paper off boxes and running around with it.


Josh, on the hunt for another new present...


The status of the living room after four children, two parents and two journeymen opening presents. Bethany, the baby, slept soundly through it all and then explored the wonders of chewing on wrapping paper.

Life

The last few weeks have been difficult here - cold, barren, a desolate wash of unanswered questions and dreams that lie like dirty snow in the gutters, almost unrecognizable. I love the call of God, the Japanese faces and prayer times with other missionaries... but sometimes there are just THOSE DAYS, the days you wake up (too early, too tired) and mull over what's been accomplished so far.

And the unthinkable: Nothing comes to mind.

Nothing, that is, except the big piece of shrimp you dropped on the floor at a friend's house or the blank look in the subway ticket lady's eyes when you try to figure out what's wrong with your subway card.

No messages in the inbox... a cheerful good-bye from junior college students you will probably never see again, girls who ended the last Bible discussion group by unanimously agreeing that they don't believe Jesus is God.

THOSE DAYS... there is just no other way to describe it.

All that and seeing friends and weddings and lives going on thousands of miles from where you are and knowing you can't be there.

"I wish I could be there," I remember saying to my sister over the phone (2 a.m. her time), "but I know this is where God wants me to be."

What hollow-sounding words, I thought. I can't say, "It's worth it because my friend got saved" or even "It's worth it because people are seeking God."

No, "but this is where God wants me to be."

I said it as a statement, but my heart said it as a question.

I left the apartment this way yesterday, cold wind stinging my face, and opened my little blue travel Bible on the bus to read. The words from Isaiah 49 surprised me:

"He said to me, 'You are my servant, Israel, in whom I will display my splendor.' But I said, 'I have labored to NO PURPOSE; I HAVE SPENT MY STRENGTH IN VAIN AND FOR NOTHING. Yet what is due me is in the Lord's hand, and my reward is with my God.

"And now the Lord says - He who formed me in the womb to be His servant, to bring Jacob back to Him and gather Israel to Himself, for I am honored in the eyes of the Lord and my God has been my strength - ...This is what the Lord says: 'In the day of my favor I will answer you, and in the day of salvation I will help you; I will keep you and will make you to be a covenant for the people, to restore the land and to reassign its desolate inheritances, to say to the captives, "Come out," and to those in darkness, 'Be free!'

"...Though you were ruined and made desolate... the children born during your bereavement will yet say in your hearing, 'This is place is too small for us; give us more space to live in.' Then you will say in your heart, 'Who bore me these? I was bereaved and barren; I was exiled and rejected. Who brought these up? I was left all alone, but these - where have they come from?'"

Oh, Lord God - I have no words - only a prayer for mercy! How can a God like You have such compassion on a child of dust like me?

How can I believe that giving my life into His hands is laboring to no purpose?

I am in tears now, remembering, looking back over the wonders He has done in my life.

On that same bus I read and re-read a folded email from a dear college professor who saw me through many dark days. "(Think of) the seeds you've planted under the Lord's direction sprouting under the snow-covered earth; I'm as sure of that as I am of the sun and the Son," she wrote - and called me "honey."

After walking the snowy streets of my city between appointments, watching White Illumination lights come on against the dusky blue sky, I sat at a corner table in a bright coffee shop, alone - listening, thinking, writing, my journal and Bible and printed out emails spread out on the little round table.

I watched the people come and go - the businessmen with waxed-looking hair, the people alone with books and cell phones, clouds of smoke curling up from tables with fashionable young women in high heeled boots. Them and me, together in a warm room, separate lives lived, for the moment, within inches of each other.

Words from Christian friends poured back into my mind: "Nothing about me - not my country, not my tribe, not my ability makes me worthy to preach the gospel," one said on the phone yesterday. "Only the fact that Jesus died for me makes me worthy."

An email from another: "Give also your dreams to God. I have but one thing to say: God will provide new dreams. God will provide new memories. God will provide."

The chair opposite mine was empty, save my black wool coat.

But, in reality, my table was filled with the presence of Christ - for He lives in me! I was not alone - I, in fact, was the honored guest at the feet of the One who allows me to come near!

The other tables were the empty ones!

When I came home there were three letters waiting for me on the table: one to confirm that a college loan was paid in full, one from a new Japanese Christian girl I met at English worship, and a packet of precious, hand-drawn construction paper cards from Sunday school children in a little Virginia country church.

I was still holding the cards in awe, tracing the crooked letters with my finger ("To: Jenny Rogers in JAPAN. God bless you! Merry Christmas!") and white chalk snowflakes when the phone rang.

It was Hyun-Sook, a wonderful Korean Christian missionary I studied with at language school and hadn't heard from in a long time, calling to tell me about the language school Christmas party Friday and that she hadn't forgotten about me.

Oh, Lord, neither have You... for there in the middle of Isaiah 49 are Your words, to unworthy me, chosen not because of my ability but because of Christ:

"But Zion has said, 'The Lord has forsaken me, the Lord has forgotten me.' Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne? Though she may forgot, I WILL NOT FORGET YOU! See, I have engraved you on the palms of my hands..."

And 2,000 years ago He did, in His own red blood...
for my sake
for your sake
for the Japanese sake
and for the sake of HIS NAME, His precious name,
that still goes out to bring LIFE.

Merry Christmas from Japan, where I plead that His name will be heard.

Top Ten Ways I Knew I Was In Japan This Christmas

10. The holly berries on Christmas wrapping paper instantly reminded me of fish eggs (I covered it up).

9. I ate sushi at a church Christmas party.

8. Heidi and I stored ice cream on our porch (it melted).

7. The mail ran on Christmas Day, and most of my friends had to work.

6. The statue of Col. Sanders outside every KFC was dressed in a Santa suit and hat.

5. The only real, dressed-up Santa Claus I saw needed to gain about 400 pounds. The suit bagged around his middle, arms and legs.

4. As I was typing number six I debated on how many kilos that would be. I gave up.

3. I had a white Christmas... a white Christmas Eve... a white Thanksgiving... a white Halloween... a white...

2. I asked college students if they knew the real meaning of Christmas, and they said, with blank looks, "No."

1. I missed your beautiful faces!!! I pray God's great blessings not only on the Japanese, but on YOU - whose friendship is the greatest Christmas present I could hope for! Thank you for your love and faithfulness that warms me all the way from north Japan!

We've had an early blizzard here, dumping more than three feet of snow in some places. I've never seen anything like it! Everything is totally covered. Walking down streets is like a bizarre dream - lumps of strange shapes and sizes rise out of the snow, trees and ditches are glutted with huge globs of white. Roadsides are lined with massive walls of snow taller than my head... what do you think??



Snow, snow, and snow!

It began to fall yesterday evening, and during the night snow accumulated to about five feet. It was piled on top of cars, completely covering everything. I've never seen anything like it!

This morning it was still snowing lightly, so while Heidi was having a women's class in the apartment, I decided to get out a bit. I did the unthinkable: I dressed for snow and went outside, to the local park, for a walk. There was nobody out "walking"... obviously during the end of a blizzard isn't a good time for a stroll, but I needed to have some rest and the solace of nature. So went, carrying nothing but my camera plus some writing paper and a pen.

The park was completely choked with snow - it was so deep that it was even impossible to walk through unless a path had been made first. It stretched across the empty field like a white canvas that someone had elevated - showing only tips of takenoko (bamboo shrubs) and small trees.

I found a spot under a little covered shelter and just sat there, in absolutely solitude - the only soul for what seemed miles. It was great. I listened to the tiny "clink-clink" of snowflakes as they hit my down jacket (they do make a sound), and then noticed how the extreme cold began to leak slowly through the openings - where my sleeves met my gloves, for example, or around the collar of my coat. I sat and wrote, listened, watched the white continue to fall, and then got cold enough to leave.

I was just about to leave when I was greeted by a construction crew, wading through waist-deep snow on their way to their parked cars for lunch. I don't know who was more surprised - them or me! After all, it isn't every day you see a white foreign girl in the park in the middle of a blizzard...

Snowy morning

This is the place for snow! Sapporo gets lots of snow because it's near the ocean, but it actually doesn't get as cold as it does in other places in Hokkaido (like Kushiro on the eastern coast). Snow starts falling in October or November and keeps falling until April or even May, when it finally starts to melt. This is my first winter in Sapporo, so we'll see how it goes! So far I LOVE the snow!




Winter in Sapporo is something to behold. Snow can fall fast and furious for a few minutes or all night, leaving blankets of white that cover everything - trees, plants, sidewalks, roads - leaving them all but indistinguishable.


A modern tool for getting traffic through busy roads is this road-heating system. Metal coils are buried below the asphalt, and when activated, they heat up and melt the ice and snow off the roads. They're remarkable! Everywhere you look the roads are covered with white, but then sometimes you'll see a long black strip of slush and melted snow, doing its job to uncover the road. They're expensive, so they're only used on major roads. But to see this is like a dream come true. You know those things you say, "What if somebody made a..."? Well, this is one of them. And it really works!


It's cold out! Many Japanese ladies use these warm tea-cup shaped hats in the snow and cold. For the younger girls, though, it's not very hip... so you don't see as many of them wearing them. They usually just stand there and let snow fall on them (as I do on occasion, when I don't want my hair messed up).


I'm waiting at the bus stop to go to church on a cold, cold morning. Don't go out with your hair damp - it'll freeze! I know this from experience... The bus stops are generally tiled little buildings like this one. They keep out some of the wind, but not much else, as they have open windows and doors - and they're colder than your freezing brain can imagine inside. Usually we just huddle inside (unless it stinks from trash, which people actually do throw in the bins) or just from old age.


Heidi, being accustomed to Montana snows, is used to the cold.


Can you believe people actually drive in this? The roads are heavily laden with salt, and the main roads use road-heaters. Drivers of buses and cars often use chains, but the undercarriages get VERY dirty, as you can imagine. The funny thing is that the road gets completely covered by snow until it's indistinguishable, and then it sort of hardens into a hard, compacted layer of multiple snowings and icings and meltings. The new snow falls on top of it, and no one stops - or is more worse for the wear.


A street crossing button all laden with snow. When you press it to stop traffic and clear the crossing, you'll hear a distinctly Japanese "chirp-chirp" sound that sounds like a pretty good rendition of an electronic bird call.


Riding a bus! This is something we do every day, but they're usually more crowded than this! Today is Sunday, which is why the bus is nearly empty. The red, lighted characters in the front tell the upcoming stops (which are also announced verbally by a recording in a nice-sounding, high-pitched woman's voice) and the price. To pay, you take a slip of paper with a number on it when you enter the bus. DON'T LOSE IT! When you leave, you hand the driver the ticket and pay according to the time/distance you were on the bus. Your coins go into a machine, and out drops your change. Then you thank the bus driver (who wears a dark blue uniform, cap, and white gloves) politely ("Arigatou gozaimashita") and then go down the steps - carefully! they are slick from melted snow! - and into the cold. Oh, and the buses are heated (notice the steam on the windows).

Notice that the bus driver is on the RIGHT!

Quick prayer

Would you join me in praying for my friend Aki, a girl my age who recently lost her job? She, like me, has lost one parent, and the holidays are often difficult for us. Please pray that this Christmas she will know the true joy that comes from knowing her Heavenly Father. She knows some of the Christmas story but is not a believer.

Next week we plan to meet on Monday, as we did tonight, and then go to a gospel concert on Thursday.

Please pray that Aki's heart will be prepared and ready for a relationship with Jesus Christ - the best present of all!!

Thank you so much for praying!!!

Stopping by woods on a snowy evening

I have seen lovely things and lovely places, but I have never been so moved by raw natural beauty as I have these past two or three days in Sapporo.

For the first time in my life I actually wanted to weep at the sight of snow on trees from a frosty bus window.

I felt tears welling up as I watched the trees glide by, snow whirling like white rose petals, everything coated with a brilliant, deep, whitest-of-all-whites. The stark contrast of light and dark was almost more beautiful than I could bear.

The mountains, hushed and powdered in layers of white... the brooding grey sky stretching from horizon to horizon, snow falling like a veil over the whitening ground... trees dressed in veils like lace, pines and tamarasks frosted like Christmas cookies... the gentle silence that descends on the fields and roadsides like angels...

Winter in northern Japan.

Snow falling giddily, dizzily, joyfully in a blur of happy flakes, light as goose down.

I would be a snowflake if I could.

The tears surprised me. I have no explanation, except the overpowering thought that kept pushing its way into my mind: It's not fair that I should get to experience this beauty without the rest of the world!

God, why are you so good to me? I am more blessed than I can sing or write or shout. To think that I, the chief of sinners, should find myself by a silent mountainside with snow lacing the tree branches like satin wedding ribbons, confetti falling in a exuberant parade around my face.

I remember the words of a missionary to India years ago: "What an amazing Christ! He never seeks for our approval, just the faith to know that He is at work... To put one's life into His hands is not to be led astray."

Praise God--what an amazing Christ! I see this clearly: "O Lord God Almighty, blessed is the man who puts his trust in you!" (Psalm 84:12).

Tonight Heidi and walked downtown with snow pouring around us, flakes on our noses and eyelashes dappling our hair like blossoms, our cheeks pink and lungs full of cold, invigorating air. The trees along the main street were hung with garlands of white lights, shining ivory against their delicate stripes of snow. The city streets were silver and gold.

Sapporo's White Illumination displays glimmered in the thick falling snow: a bright white Christmas tree, giant lilys-of-the-valley drooping pale blooms, colored flowers.

And here am I, with Heidi as my roommate and my eternity in heaven, an unworthy and yet dearly-loved tool in the hand of God, privileged to know His only Son and chosen to reach the precious Japanese people.

All of this plus the glory of a snowfall in northern Japan.

No wonder the tears well up in my eyes.

Oh, God, may I never doubt again. For blessed, BLESSED is the man who puts his trust in you!